As you will know if you looked at the “About Me” page before venturing here my name is Debbie and I have been overweight (obese if you use BMI calculations) for most of my adult life.
When I was in school and for my first few years at uni I was always “chunkier” than the other girls. I always felt self conscious about this and looking back now, in high school, I probably had a borderline eating disorder. I would lie to my friends and say I’d eaten at home I’d lie to my family and say I was eating when out with friends. I’d suck on ice cubes to try and quash the hunger pangs.
Anyway long story short I graduated uni, moved out of the house, started working full time and settled into a long term relationship. I “got over” my hang ups and since then at the age of 21 I developed a whole new outlook and relationship with food.
We would eat take away 3-4 times a week. In between times it was “convenience” food. Anything that came in a packet and could be heated in a microwave fit the criteria for being dinner.
I actually very gradually put the weight on (despite the rubbish diet I now had). It wasn’t until I was 24 I really realised I had a problem. Nothing fit. I dreaded being asked to go on a night out as it meant having to find something that 1. Fit 2. Looked ok 3. I felt comfortable in. By this point that was not a big selection!! My BF loved me unconditionally regardless of my size. He told me as long as I was happy he was happy. This made it easier to just have another takeaway or a wee biscuit with my tea. At this point though, if I’m totally honest, I was so focused on me, I barely noticed his waistline was also expanding (albeit not as drastically as mine!)
For me though stepping on the scales back in 2010 and seeing my weight was on the upper end of 13st (I’m only 5ft4) I was horrified. I was a size 16-18. I couldn’t hide from it. I wasn’t just unhappy I was hugely unhealthy too!
I vowed there and then that was the highest number the scales would ever read when I stepped on them.
If like me, you are someone who has tried and failed to lose weight multiple times you will appreciate how horribly wrong I was!
Thus begun (my next blog post) diet attempt number 1 – Weight Watchers